Ideas for New Year’s Resolutions

Mind:

  • Do homework on day it was assigned
  • Read books (one that you aren’t required to read)
  • Try something new
  • Learn a new fact everyday
  • Read the newspaper
  • Look at something from a new perspective
  • Try something that scares you (improv, public speaking)
  • Put a positive spin on the negatives in your life
  • Create more (art, music, dance, writing, etc…)
  • Learn a new skill
  • Practice an old skill

Body:

  • Put exercising into your daily schedule
  • Eat food that helps reduce stress (tomatoes)
  • Laugh more, cry less
  • Eat slower to more fully enjoy the taste
  • Take a daily nap
  • Get to bed at a reasonable hour
  • Choose water over pop or coffee
  • Cut fast food out of your life
  • Learn a new dance (Swing, Zumba, Salsa, etc.)

Spirit:

  • Read a bible passage everyday
  • Improve your relationship with God through prayer
  • Say the rosary once a week
  • Serve others (soup kitchen, help a friend in need, tutor children, collect baby supplies for a pregnancy center)
  • Journal every night before bed
  • Say a prayer for someone who has caused you pain
  • Go on a retreat
  • Go out and spend time in nature
  • Go to church every Sunday
  • Go to Confession (yes it makes everyone uncomfortable but its important!)

Relationships:

  • Make a new friend
  • Ask someone to tell you a story from their childhood
  • Make someone smile everyday
  • Reconnect with an old friend
  • Forgive someone who hurt you in the past
  • Make commitments
  • Don’t gossip

Quote of the Day

“It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God. Without God people only succeed in bringing out the worst in one another. Lovers who have nothing else to do but love each other soon find there is nothing else. Without a central loyalty life is unfinished.”
Fulton J. Sheen, Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana and Calvary

 

I have been thinking quite bit about my future husband and how God plays into this relationship. I have discovered that I need someone who loves God as much as me or more.

Dating Apps: The Search for the ONE that will love God and Me

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As a Catholic female in the college environment, it is difficult to find religious men, or frankly even a man that wants to commit to a relationship. Hookups are such a normal occurrence on campuses that people are utterly shocked when I tell them I don’t believe in them. If a guy values me he will ask me on a date. They are more confused when they find out I am a virgin and saving myself till marriage. Therefore fellow readers, you can understand that it is quite a task to find an eligible bachelor to potentially be my future husband. Hence, I found it necessary to try out some dating apps in hopes to find my prince charming. I would like to share my experiences with each app.

(SIDE NOTE: Before I go into details I want to mention that it is disappointing that almost all dating apps are based on looks verses the important things like personality, faith, and morals.)

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Christianmingle was the first one I had the guts to try out. The main issue I found with this app/website was that I couldn’t message anyone with out paying a monthly fee, which is not ideal for a broke college student. I manage to get around paying, by finding some of the men on social media and messaging them that way. (Probably not the safest thing to do)

The other downside to this site was there was a very limited selection, not many people are on it. Many of the men weren’t attractive, which I know sounds shallow, personality of course comes first, but you do have to be attracted to them in your own special way. Many of the men that I was interested in weren’t even in America or too far away to make sense to date.

The positives of this app was all the men that I did talk to were very sweet and never made any sort of sexual or degrading comments. Another plus is that all the men cared about God and their faith. I did end up going on a date with one guy Tony. He was nice but we had nothing in common so it didn’t end up working out. I deleted the app after that because there weren’t enough options in men left.

 

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Honestly I swore I would never try Tinder because it was a hookup app full of “fuck boys”. (Excuse my language) But I was home from break and feeling lonely. I determined to just try it out. The biggest problem I had with this app was how the men would talk to women. Every other guy that messaged me would start the conversation with a sexual or crude pickup line. This would cause me to automatically block them. I also receive many “Hey you are cute, Netflix and chill tonight?” This is super frustrating for someone who is looking for a date or a relationship.

Then this cute guy named Sam messaged me with Don’t Stop Believing lyrics. He seemed nerdy and cute (my type). So I agreed to have coffee with him the next day. We had a ton in common and he was extremely intelligent, scratch that, he was a genius. He was charming and romantic, truly swept me off my feet. (ladies be weary of the charmers)

The date was going so well that we extended coffee into us going to see the newest Star Wars movie. We continued to go on dates for roughly a week. But I was ignoring some big red flags along the way. This is a common happening when you become infatuated with another person.

Anyways I came to find out he believed that one person should be able to marry multiple people, and he needed sex …a lot of it. These were two big nos in my book. So I quickly ended things with him. I am glad I did because it would have definitely ended in an abusive relationship. For example he used sexist language, he viewed other women more as objects than people. He wanted to have all the power in the relationship. He just was not the type of person I was looking for at all. (or any woman) After this experience I decided I would never use this app again. Tinder lives up to its reputation as a hook up app.

 

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Out of all the dating apps, this one is my top pick. The main issue is it only works in big cities. I live in Chicago an even there, there were slim pickings. I received roughly a total of two rude comments out of many guys I chatted with. You can count on a good conversation and invites to go on a date instead of just an offer to watch Netflix and chill. I went on a date with one fellow. He was Catholic and was an actor. The only issue was he was not ready for a relationship and ended up just using me as a rebound. I don’t blame the app but I ended up deleting it anyways.

 

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I took a break from dating apps for a while because I dated a long time friend but it ended on a sour note. I decided to try online dating again. Bumble was a newer one that is considered the feminist dating service. On this app the female is the only one who can message first. The biggest issue is that I will have a good conversation going with a guy and then he will randomly stop messaging me. I haven’t got a single date from this app. I have also received offensive messages, not to the extent of the ones I received on Tinder but still vulgar. Although, there are many people who have an account on this app, almost as many as Tinder.

 

To sum it up, I would not recommend dating apps if you are looking for something serious or someone that values their faith. It is possible to find this on an app but it is much more unlikely. I guess we are going to have to meet men the old fashion way. Please share and comment with your own experiences on dating apps!

Quote of the Day

Isaiah 30:18   Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

 

 

This life on earth is all about waiting. Recently I have been having a huge struggle with be patient. When it comes to healing from an illness in my head and finding love, it truly is a long wait. But if we stay strong and push on we will be rewarded in the end. Prayers to all of you who are waiting.