Do you have to have a reason for loving? -Brigitte Bardot
“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.'”
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
It was a rough year for all. Hope is just around the corner!
- Do homework on day it was assigned
- Read books (one that you aren’t required to read)
- Try something new
- Learn a new fact everyday
- Read the newspaper
- Look at something from a new perspective
- Try something that scares you (improv, public speaking)
- Put a positive spin on the negatives in your life
- Create more (art, music, dance, writing, etc…)
- Learn a new skill
- Practice an old skill
- Put exercising into your daily schedule
- Eat food that helps reduce stress (tomatoes)
- Laugh more, cry less
- Eat slower to more fully enjoy the taste
- Take a daily nap
- Get to bed at a reasonable hour
- Choose water over pop or coffee
- Cut fast food out of your life
- Learn a new dance (Swing, Zumba, Salsa, etc.)
- Read a bible passage everyday
- Improve your relationship with God through prayer
- Say the rosary once a week
- Serve others (soup kitchen, help a friend in need, tutor children, collect baby supplies for a pregnancy center)
- Journal every night before bed
- Say a prayer for someone who has caused you pain
- Go on a retreat
- Go out and spend time in nature
- Go to church every Sunday
- Go to Confession (yes it makes everyone uncomfortable but its important!)
- Make a new friend
- Ask someone to tell you a story from their childhood
- Make someone smile everyday
- Reconnect with an old friend
- Forgive someone who hurt you in the past
- Make commitments
- Don’t gossip
“It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God. Without God people only succeed in bringing out the worst in one another. Lovers who have nothing else to do but love each other soon find there is nothing else. Without a central loyalty life is unfinished.”
― Fulton J. Sheen,
I have been thinking quite bit about my future husband and how God plays into this relationship. I have discovered that I need someone who loves God as much as me or more.
As a Catholic female in the college environment, it is difficult to find religious men, or frankly even a man that wants to commit to a relationship. Hookups are such a normal occurrence on campuses that people are utterly shocked when I tell them I don’t believe in them. If a guy values me he will ask me on a date. They are more confused when they find out I am a virgin and saving myself till marriage. Therefore fellow readers, you can understand that it is quite a task to find an eligible bachelor to potentially be my future husband. Hence, I found it necessary to try out some dating apps in hopes to find my prince charming. I would like to share my experiences with each app.
(SIDE NOTE: Before I go into details I want to mention that it is disappointing that almost all dating apps are based on looks verses the important things like personality, faith, and morals.)
Christianmingle was the first one I had the guts to try out. The main issue I found with this app/website was that I couldn’t message anyone with out paying a monthly fee, which is not ideal for a broke college student. I manage to get around paying, by finding some of the men on social media and messaging them that way. (Probably not the safest thing to do)
The other downside to this site was there was a very limited selection, not many people are on it. Many of the men weren’t attractive, which I know sounds shallow, personality of course comes first, but you do have to be attracted to them in your own special way. Many of the men that I was interested in weren’t even in America or too far away to make sense to date.
The positives of this app was all the men that I did talk to were very sweet and never made any sort of sexual or degrading comments. Another plus is that all the men cared about God and their faith. I did end up going on a date with one guy Tony. He was nice but we had nothing in common so it didn’t end up working out. I deleted the app after that because there weren’t enough options in men left.
Honestly I swore I would never try Tinder because it was a hookup app full of “fuck boys”. (Excuse my language) But I was home from break and feeling lonely. I determined to just try it out. The biggest problem I had with this app was how the men would talk to women. Every other guy that messaged me would start the conversation with a sexual or crude pickup line. This would cause me to automatically block them. I also receive many “Hey you are cute, Netflix and chill tonight?” This is super frustrating for someone who is looking for a date or a relationship.
Then this cute guy named Sam messaged me with Don’t Stop Believing lyrics. He seemed nerdy and cute (my type). So I agreed to have coffee with him the next day. We had a ton in common and he was extremely intelligent, scratch that, he was a genius. He was charming and romantic, truly swept me off my feet. (ladies be weary of the charmers)
The date was going so well that we extended coffee into us going to see the newest Star Wars movie. We continued to go on dates for roughly a week. But I was ignoring some big red flags along the way. This is a common happening when you become infatuated with another person.
Anyways I came to find out he believed that one person should be able to marry multiple people, and he needed sex …a lot of it. These were two big nos in my book. So I quickly ended things with him. I am glad I did because it would have definitely ended in an abusive relationship. For example he used sexist language, he viewed other women more as objects than people. He wanted to have all the power in the relationship. He just was not the type of person I was looking for at all. (or any woman) After this experience I decided I would never use this app again. Tinder lives up to its reputation as a hook up app.
Out of all the dating apps, this one is my top pick. The main issue is it only works in big cities. I live in Chicago an even there, there were slim pickings. I received roughly a total of two rude comments out of many guys I chatted with. You can count on a good conversation and invites to go on a date instead of just an offer to watch Netflix and chill. I went on a date with one fellow. He was Catholic and was an actor. The only issue was he was not ready for a relationship and ended up just using me as a rebound. I don’t blame the app but I ended up deleting it anyways.
I took a break from dating apps for a while because I dated a long time friend but it ended on a sour note. I decided to try online dating again. Bumble was a newer one that is considered the feminist dating service. On this app the female is the only one who can message first. The biggest issue is that I will have a good conversation going with a guy and then he will randomly stop messaging me. I haven’t got a single date from this app. I have also received offensive messages, not to the extent of the ones I received on Tinder but still vulgar. Although, there are many people who have an account on this app, almost as many as Tinder.
To sum it up, I would not recommend dating apps if you are looking for something serious or someone that values their faith. It is possible to find this on an app but it is much more unlikely. I guess we are going to have to meet men the old fashion way. Please share and comment with your own experiences on dating apps!
Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.
This life on earth is all about waiting. Recently I have been having a huge struggle with be patient. When it comes to healing from an illness in my head and finding love, it truly is a long wait. But if we stay strong and push on we will be rewarded in the end. Prayers to all of you who are waiting.
In today’s society we are constantly being bombarded with different types of advertising, TV, radio, pop up ads, emails, print ads, billboards and there is even product placements within movies. Everywhere we look we see ads. The question is whether this is positivity affecting the audiences that are seeing them. Is ethically marketing in place when it comes to advertising?
People who are probably most affected by these advertisements are children and young adult who are more likely to be swayed by ads. Unfortunately quite often the children, teens and young adult are exposed to commercials that can negatively impact their well-being. For example young girls and women are constantly exposed to unrealistic beauty standards because of advertisements like Victoria Secret and other beauty product lines. This can cause girls to be self-conscience and have low self-esteem and in some extreme cases this causes eating disorders. Thankfully now there are some campaigns that are promoting the beauty of all shapes and sizes such as Dove. From a Utilitarian perspective Dove Real Beauty Campaign definitely benefits the largest amount of people unlike Victoria’s Secret Love My Body Campaign.
Additionally another campaign with some ethical problems was Camel cigarettes. They had a cartoon character Joe Camel as their ad spokesman that was clearly directed at under aged kids and was encouraging them to smoke. (Patterson/Wilkins 61)
Not to mention, I also find it disturbing how advertising and commercials advertise products and services that look one way in the ac but look nothing like that in reality. I think this is being false and not accurate. A good example of this is McDonalds food. In most of these examples loyalties come into play because the advertisers are more concerned about the company making a profit than being loyal to the audiences well being.
On another note, I also have a concern about things such as Google Analytics and other similar programs that allows people to see what advertisements you have looked at, when, what device you use, how old you are and your gender. Than that way they can put other ads that you might be interested in you on side advertisements. I believe that this is a breach in privacy.
Privacy “is concerned with determining who will obtain access to the information. Privacy does not require that information never reach public view, but rather who has control over that information.” (Patterson/Wilkins, 114) I think they need to rethink using some of these methods.
Advertisements can be deceiving at time but there are also campaigns that are making a difference in the world. I am a Ad/PR major I hope one day I will get the opportunity to work on a campaign such as Dove’s Real Beauty Campaign.
Within art, particularly film and TV shows present ethical dilemmas where they illustrate people in that they use extreme stereotypes or prejudices. “For instance entertainment content can reinforce the status quo by constantly depicting certain social groups in an unflattering and unrepresentative way, presenting a distorted picture of reality.” (Patterson/Wilkins, 258) Some of the most attacked groups I have encountered are Muslims, Evangelicals, African American and Asians. I recall that even in some cartoons that were meant for children, such as Bugs Bunny, were very racist and insulting to particular groups.
Walter Lippmann, the author of Public Opinion, states how we all fall prey to “defining first and seeing second”. By showing all of these stereotypes in the entertainment industry, we are reinforcing these awful perceptions that are exaggerated and insulting. The audience doesn’t question or challenge these assumptions made about these people.
This situation could be viewed in the perspective of John Stuart Mill’s Utilitarianism; Mill’s philosophy is to do what benefits the largest number of people, which is clearly not being done. The film and TV industry are harming both the people they are negatively depicting and the audience members who can be molded by these perceptions that they are being presented with. Neither of these will help to benefit the community if anything, it will harm the people. This could cause people to become racist by accident or even on purpose. This would just cause a cycle of hate and insulting stereotypes.
Two ethical news values that should be applied to this situation are accuracy and diversity. Accuracy should be employed because although all stereotypes have some truth behind them, they are playing up most of the attributes that are untrue and offensive. The creators of these movies and cartoons need to do more research to be fully accurate. Diversity is also problem within these programs because they incorporate diversity but in an offensive way. They need to improve by adding diversity by instead doing it in a correct, ethical manner.
Mind you, not all films and TV shows are this way. There are many that show diversity in a positive light and don’t portray the characters in a degrading manner. Good examples of this is Parks and Recreation, Glee, PBS children’s show Maya and Miguel, and New Girl.
Photoshopification (the manipulation of photos) is becoming a normal thing into today’s society. This causes conflicts in the terms of originality. “The ability to digitize information also challenges our intuitive assumptions about a variety of things everything from the ‘reality’ that a picture represents to the external symbol systems that words and images together create” (Patterson/Wilkins 229). This manipulation of images can also cause major deception to the eyes of the viewer.
This idea of deception is most prominently seen in the fashion world. Models are highly edited to appear perfect. All wrinkles are removed, their waists are shrunk down to ridiculous portions, and butts and breasts are increased. This is not only deceiving but it’s causing people to have unrealistic expectations for themselves. This has a huge impact on young girls.
Women and girls feel the need to be unhealthily skinny because of this photoshopification of models. Recently there has been this fad going around the Internet that has appalled me. It is called The Paper Challenge. Girls hold up a standard size sheet of paper (8 ½ by 11) portrait view against their stomach. If the piece of paper covers their whole stomach then they are the “perfect size”. Our view is skewed because of major editing of photos.
Another phenomenon that women recently become self-conscience about is the thigh gap, aka the space between your legs. Apparently it is seen as unflattering if you thighs touch (which is perfectly normal and healthy). This has gotten so out of hand that an artist found it necessary to make a fake ad for Thigh Gap Jewelry. But, when people go to try and buy it, it sends them to a page that talks about unrealistic beauty standards.
Much like Aristotle’s Golden Means, the fashion industry needs to seek out a happy medium and find a middle ground between two vices. Perhaps, it could alter the photos a little bit to take out minor flaws but not to the extent of complete untruthfulness. Another way to think about it is in the view of Utilitarianism in that it would be more beneficial to a large population of people if the photos remained unedited. Otherwise, women and girls would feel the need to be unhealthy just to fulfill society’s beauty standards.